Is There a Doctor in the House?

Another One for the Bum's Wishlist

"Yo Santa,

I've been a very bummy bum this year and I think I deserve something better than that Natty Ice swill Sybil buys me. How about bringing me this gift pack? It's exactly what I want for Christmas -- and every other day!

-- the Bum"

The Bum Passes Through

Is that Bum well-fed or what? I guess you can buy a lot of grease with food stamps!

Look Who's In the Funny Papers!

Click to enlarge so you can read the dialogue.

SHOCKER: Artifact is an ARTI-FAKE!

In an astonishingly expected turn of events, the so-called "Shroud of Reno" has been exposed as a fraud. Scientists examining the shroud (which Sybil's "representatives" claim to be proof of Sybil's death) have found multiple inconsistencies and fakeries to debunk the entire reeking rag.

"First of all," said one scholar, "The body image shown on the shroud is FAR too healthy-looking and toned to be Sybil. There's no way Sybil would have actually used her exercise machine that much. It's an obvious fake."

Added another scientist, "Another sign of fraud is that this tired old bit of tat has been used multiple times over the past several years as a phoney proof of death. It's also been known as the Shroud of San Jose, Shroud of the Trailer Park, etc.

"It's a Shroud of Steaming Shite, that's what it is."